The Best English Jokes
This requires lot of humor knowledge to understand ....... And here we go
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?”
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We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.
A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup.
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Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?”
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The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.”
4.
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Mr. Jeffries: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."
5. An old grandma brings a bus driver a bag of peanuts every day.
First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: "Please granny, don't bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.".
The granny answers: "You know, I don't have teeth anymore. I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them."
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”
I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore.
8.
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
An Eskimo brings his friend to his home for a visit. When they arrive, his friend asks, puzzled – “So where’s your igloo?”
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The friend replies “Oh no, I must’ve left the iron on…”
10.
A mother asks her son: "Anton, do you think I’m a bad mom?"
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Son: "My name is Paul."
11.
Doctor: You're obese.
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Patient: For that I definitely want a second opinion.
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Doctor: You’re quite ugly, too.
This requires lot of humor knowledge to understand ....... And here we go
1.
Doctor: "I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."
Patient: "What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"
Doctor: "Nine."
2.
My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, “Well Sarah? Do you think you’ll be next?”
-
We’ve settled this quickly once I’ve started doing the same to them at funerals.
3.
A doctor accidentally prescribes his patient a laxative instead of a coughing syrup.
-
Three days later the patient comes for a check-up and the doctor asks: “Well? Are you still coughing?”
-
The patient replies: “No. I’m afraid to.”
-
Mr. Jeffries: "Personally I believe my biggest weakness is in listening."
First the bus driver enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: "Please granny, don't bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.".
The granny answers: "You know, I don't have teeth anymore. I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them."
6.
Dentist: “This will hurt a little.”
Patient: “OK.”
Dentist: “I’ve been having an affair with your wife for a while now.”
7.
I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said “Final Notice”. Good that he will not bother me anymore.
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.
9.
An Eskimo brings his friend to his home for a visit. When they arrive, his friend asks, puzzled – “So where’s your igloo?”
-
The friend replies “Oh no, I must’ve left the iron on…”
10.
A mother asks her son: "Anton, do you think I’m a bad mom?"
-
Son: "My name is Paul."
11.
Doctor: You're obese.
-
Patient: For that I definitely want a second opinion.
-
Doctor: You’re quite ugly, too.
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1 Comments
�������� Sahi hai bhai
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